there sometimes feel like there is a lot of pressure you know, to be everyone’s friend, when sometimes you don’t want to do anything at all, and sometimes peoples attitudes are hurtful but i can never be strong enough to tell that person that they have been wrong or out of order.

no one could help me out of heartbreak and i think that has been one of life’s greatest lessons, no one night stand no alcohol binge night out no tinder account not even a girls night out, something i have been avoiding for awhile because i don’t want to go out and talk about it. It will only become gossip and hearsay.

she thought that a man would make me happy and i knew that a man would not make me happy, a man made me annoyed and fed up and a man made me feel trapped and all the other men before the man where just terrible terrible experiences.

it was a temporary fix to a huge problem that i was going though i was going through a lot and unfortunate the people that i knew where not understanding not caring too busy wanting drama and gossip than to actually be a good friend, and thats ok sometimes that happends.

there have been times in my life where i never thought that i would ever ever have any friends i thought that it was bad karma for things that had happend at school or maybe even when i met a group of people before college, same time i met the guy outside the church. my irrational thinking has sometimes caused problems but it actually has saved my life a few times. i am 25 and it has taken me this long to learn to trust myself.