It’s been a few weeks now since you signed me off your service and I still feel like I have a long way to go.

I told you I wasnt ready to leave I was in a panic. A state, bottling it up. My fears from being a child coming back and back and back.

I cant communicate because I have these things I can’t explain to anyone. Or i explain them and people appear uninterested.

so it’s been a few weeks and in a few more weeks I will be back with a new therapist.

I am not proud.

I’ve been told that 7 months is enough, that I should be ok now. Not to appear at counselling through my local authority unless I have a different reason to need to appear.

I’ve been given no tools. Just told that I’m not over this new guy thing and healing from it. But I never got to any of the parts about my dad, about my mum, about my teenage years.

I’m rejected. Spat out of the mental health system as an unfinished painting. I’m not ready not prepared not able to present myself for the art that I am.

I hope that’s the case.